Our Surrogacy Journey

My husband and I have always known we need to go through surrogacy to have a child. I have a history of critical illness that started when I was 16 years old, and although I beat it, it has left me unable to sustain a pregnancy.

I met my husband my first semester at college; it wasn’t a whirlwind romance but instead a deep, platonic friendship that we both poured our hearts into, as well as our time. Our friendship became a safe place to complain about the unfairness of life, cry about the unknowns of the future, and celebrate the successes along the way. However, it wasn’t until a few years of intense friendship that we realized we were in love.

Already knowing each others’ fears, secrets, future plans, and favorite this and that, we ran full speed ahead into the life and marriage we’re in today. He already knew I couldn’t have kids- I’d cried about it years prior.

We understood our options and made our plans.

Another “unfairness” of my illness is that it left me with a shorter life expectancy than most. Due to the damage I withstood in my year in the ICU and my subsequent surgeries and organ transplant, it’s reasonable to assume the difficulties of my condition will end my life prematurely. When estimated, doctors told me that I was expected to make it to my early-to-mid forties. I plan to live much longer than that but understanding my reality, I’ve made a goal of being at my child’s 20th birthday celebration. Currently, I am 23, and my husband is 24.

We are very young compared to the average couple seeking IVF and surrogacy, but we come with our unique scenario.

My husband was made to be a father; he is so gentle and kind. He is a pharmacist who works in geriatric care and truly loves his patients. He has a gift for helping those in need, and his grandparents are so important to him. He talks to them every day on the phone, making sure they are safe and healthy. I know he would move heaven and earth for our child because he does it for me.

I was born to nurture and teach, as a kid, I brought home every injured bird, lost kitten, and broken-winged butterfly I found. I do the same still; I currently have a bonded pair of rabbits that I found starving after being left outside a feed store. My husband and I bottle-fed them to get them to the healthy and happy place they’re at now.

I have the luxury of staying at home; my job is my garden and all the critters I care for and love.

My husband and I long for our baby. We’ve painted and wallpapered our nursery in anticipation. I’ve built a bookcase and dresser and secured all our furniture to the walls. He made a rocking chair, and he never stops researching the safest and best options for everything baby-related. At first, I thought the healthcare professional in him fuelled it, but now I know it’s the Dad in him.

All that’s left is to wait and hope and cross our fingers and toes for the woman who will carry our child. We know she’s out there somewhere.